Being “Lovesick” Is Real – 3 Ways to Navigate the Unknown

Understand How Brain Chemicals Can Create Limerence

The chemicals our brains secrete in response to our environments are powerful things. One of them, called dopamine, helps you fall in love. It creates a rush of excitement and interest when you feel attracted to somebody.

But with time, the effect of this neurotransmitter should subside. This reaction is especially true if there is no indication that they feel the same way or even no real-life interaction with them.

Therapists have learned that being lovesick, however, is often tied to other emotional issues. These include OCD (obsessive-compulsive disorder) and addiction. Viewed from this angle, you can see how the obsessive feelings about someone can become an addiction. Your brain gets trapped in these compulsive behaviors. This cycle of intrusive, obsessive thoughts becomes persistent and self-perpetuating.

You don’t have to stay stuck here, though. But knowing the biological underpinnings of being lovesick is the first step in moving forward.

Practice Thought-Stopping

We all face intrusive, obsessive thoughts from time to time. Inaccurate messages can fill our minds and cause us to do and believe things that aren’t true. Learning how to challenge and stop these kinds of thoughts can be very helpful.

People who live with anxiety, phobias, and depression have all found enormous benefits from this approach. After all, the brain is an adaptable organ that will form new neural pathways and networks given enough reinforcement.

When it comes to lovesickness, you can counter these obsessive thoughts by evaluating and challenging their truth. Ask yourself what evidence you have that they feel the same way. Remind yourself that you are capable of learning to let go of these thoughts. Practice telling yourself that your life can be meaningful whether or not you’re in a relationship with the person you’re obsessed with.

Seek Therapy

One of the first researchers to provide insight into the experience of limerence was Dorothy Tennov. She collected thousands of surveys from individuals who varied greatly. But no matter these differences, their experience of lovesickness was the same. This reality has helped therapists understand the cause of obsessive love.

Being lovesick feels like a relatively intense state of mind. If you’ve experienced it or are in the midst of it, you already know this reality. And given its close connection with OCD and addiction, trying to work through it on your own can be enormously challenging. These conditions often require the skilled guidance and understanding of a specialist.

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As a therapist specializing in limerence, I can offer a thorough evaluation of your symptoms and behavior. This approach provides insight into the roots and causes of your love addiction. I’ve helped others step away from obsessive love and move forward into a life free from its control.

If you’re ready to start your healing journey, please reach out to my office or visit my Obsessive Love- Limerence page to learn more about how we can help.