Is Your Child Acting Out? What Their Behavior Is Telling You

As soon as your little one came into the world, your life changed forever. But, just like all things in life, there are ups and downs. 

Children are a wonder, but they can have their tough moments, and parenting through those moments is difficult. Do you feel like your child is acting out all of a sudden? Or having outbursts like never before? 

Why does this happen and what can you do to help guide your child in the right direction?

What Does ‘Acting Out’ Mean?

Most of the time, when someone says a child is 'acting out, it means that they are behaving in an improper manner, and exhibiting unrestrained behavior. Acting out is often caused by suppressed feelings or denied emotions. 

Children are still learning and growing and just haven’t mastered identifying and controlling their emotions. While it is your responsibility as a parent to help them regulate their emotions and behave well, sometimes a child’s reactivity can make you doubt your success as a parent. 

It’s important that you understand that your child’s attempts to express themselves are works in progress. They’ll need you throughout their childhood as a safe and loving guide. 

Reasons Your Child May Be ‘Acting Out’

Often, children act out because their basic needs are not being met. Are they hungry, tired, stressed, or needing attention in some easily identifiable way?

Some children begin acting out in order to deal with a difficult or sensitive situation, as they are unable to manage their emotions. Others may react in an unreasonable way due to stress, or because they are frustrated due to an undiagnosed learning disability.

Others act out because they seek attention from adults. Using bad behavior is a means of receiving the attention they desire. In other cases, they could be facing mental health problems, issues with friends in school, or may even be bullied. It could be anything! 

Rest assured, your kid is not a “bad” kid, just one struggling to make sense of their feelings. No matter what the age of your child, they can act out. Whether you have a toddler or a teenager, there will be times that they feel overwhelmed, scream, shout, cry, and can even get aggressive. 

The important thing to note? This is a normal part of life. What you can do for your child is to help them regain control. Teach them to tackle their problems in a calm and reasonable manner. 

What To Do

It is essential that you tackle this problem by remaining calm. Sometimes it can help to find the root of the issue, but kids aren’t always rational, and you may not see eye to eye.

Instead, help them understand their emotional triggers. Ask them what has caused the behavior. Also, set clear boundaries and expectations for your child. In a sensitive way, let them know that there are consequences for their actions, and that bad behavior will not be tolerated. 

Decide on a consequence immediately, and ensure it is age-appropriate for your child. Avoid reacting in anger, even in the most trying of moments! Do your best to demonstrate self-control. Managing your own emotions and behavior sets an example for them to follow. 

If you feel that your child may have an undiagnosed mental health problem or learning disability, support them by speaking to a doctor about your concerns. 

Remember, all children will act out from time to time. It’s not your fault. But it is your responsibility to help calm them and address their issues. Help your child behave in a responsible, healthy, and reasonable way when it comes to managing their emotions.

Want more ideas on how to parent effectively? Please read more on my child therapy page and reach out soon for a consultation.