Is Intimacy Avoidance A Problem In Your Relationship? How To Tell
Intimacy avoidance is the act of trying to avoid intimacy with other people or in relationships. It can also be characterized by a fear of intimacy, and anxiety around sharing a close bond or emotional and physical relationship.
Intimacy avoidance can be caused by many different factors, such as unresolved childhood trauma, the loss of a parent or loved one, or trust issues from past relationships. Whatever the reason, a person may try to avoid intimacy because of difficulty trusting others, or because of a personality disorder.
When it comes to relationships, intimacy avoidance can be very damaging as one person may be withholding intimacy and closeness from the other. This can cause a lot of distress and emotional pain for the partner of the intimacy avoider. Often, the person avoiding intimacy is often in denial and does not realize that what they are doing is relationally destructive.
So, how can you tell if your partner is avoiding intimacy?
Signs Your Partner Avoids Intimacy
Regarding intimacy avoidance, people who experience this fear of closeness often do not realize that they are pushing others away. Thus, it’s important to consider that they aren’t necessarily doing this to intentionally hurt you. Again, people who avoid intimacy often do so because they have been neglected or hurt in some way in their own lives.
Common signs of intimacy avoidance include
A tendency to shy away from touching or being close to you. They may not withstand physical contact well. Or brush off public displays of affection.
A struggle with feelings or a failure to understand why you are upset or emotional.
An inability to express their own needs, wishes, and desires, and they can often struggle to communicate what they want.
Do you have difficulty discussing serious topics or difficulties in your relationship?
Avoiding intimacy is not just about physical contact, it’s also about shying away from intimate conversations and discussions. Your partner may also avoid talking deeply about themselves and their dreams or goals or refrain from being spontaneous or trying anything new. By the time the sex stops, you may both feel that you do not have a close connection or bond with your partner. From there the divide grows.
Do you feel that they do not understand you, or that you are more like roommates or friends rather than partners? If so, then you may need help to restore trust and intimacy.
How To Create A Sense Of Intimacy In Your Relationship
If you think that you may be avoiding intimacy in your relationship, there are things that you can do to rekindle it. For instance, you can set time aside for one another, and make an effort to spend quality time together.
In addition, you can make a conscious effort to learn more about one another, and understand each other on a deeper level. You should also make a point of complimenting one another and showing your appreciation for your partner to build a stronger bond.
You can also try to show affection in ways that aren’t as intimate as sex. This can help you grow more comfortable with intimacy, and you can work up to physical contact over time. If you are concerned that your partner has a fear of intimacy, then it might be time for them to speak to a therapist to deal with some of their issues, and work through why intimacy is so fearful for them.
Speaking to a therapist can also help you manage and cope with a fear of intimacy, and work towards building better relationships in the future. To cope well and move forward together, consider couples counseling. Professional guidance is often the support needed to improve your connection. Don’t be afraid to reach out and start a new, closer chapter together. Please read more about couples counseling and reach out soon for a consultation.