Is Social Media Wrecking Your Relationship? How to Turn Things Around

Social media kept many of us connected to friends and loved ones during an unexpected period of social distancing. It likely kept you from missing out on milestones and feeling left out of loving interaction as the anxious pandemic season wore on. And. in general,  it's true that social media has the ability to inform us, encourage “sharing,” and invite us to keep making memories whether we are near and far from each other.

Yet, social media can also weigh heavily on our relationships with our significant others if we aren't careful. In fact, too many partners complain that platforms like Facebook or Instagram are damaging trust and intimacy between them. Worse, they feel out of control when it comes to reigning in online influence.

Are you in this situation? You're not alone. Consider these ideas to try next:

Put Your Partner First

Prioritize your relationship. Our internet age has trained us to keep part of our minds alerted to the myriad of notifications offered by our electronic devices. However, restoring connection with each other is not likely to occur if you are unable to give each other your full attention.

Message to your partner that you are serious about preserving your relationship. Willingly and reliably put social media in its proper place.

Tune in to Each Other Now

Make time to engage off-camera and in-person routinely and purposefully. If you praise each other and your relationship online, do so face to face. Check in on each other’s needs and wants. Recognize that happy selfies are much less important than the work of creating happy moments at home together.

Focus on your partnership instead of social media approval for appreciation and acceptance. 

Avoid Seeking Validation from Twitter and Facebook

Are you seeking online approval and affirmation from social media platforms instead of each other? Do you find yourselves posting pics for "likes" instead of spreading time actually engaging your partner in another room?

It's time to ask why and challenge the importance of public opinion.

However your relationship looks right now, it is yours to experience without prying eyes or commentary. Think hard before inviting scrutiny and undue influence from others.

Maintain Some Mystery

Consider the benefits of private relationship life. Boundaries and hedges around your relationship are good, protective measures.

Posts about you and your partner that don't protect intimate moments or private spaces can quickly add pressure to your connection. And for what? A few thumbs up emojis? Weigh the cost and consider building trust over a desire to build a social media following. 

Constantly capturing private moments erodes trust and intimacy. It invites judgment and commentary that can foster insecurity and kill organic interaction between you. Let people wonder why you're so close by keeping more of your relationship closer to the vest.

Reclaim the Right to Log Off

After our collective dependence on the internet for employment, social connection, information, and general pandemic existence living,  signing off your social media platforms may feel impossible. But, believe it or not, it's okay to do so.  Even if your job requires some degree of social media interaction, there are likely ways you can drastically reduce exposure. The key is intentionality.

Take back the to choose your time online. Choose to alter the course of your relationship. Intentionally decide to power down and unplug for the sake of perspective and improved focus and intimacy in your life together.

Want to learn more about how to make key changes? Consider couples counseling to set goals and build a stronger connection. I'm here to help, contact me soon for a consultation.