4 Tips for Adult Children Grieving Their Parent’s Divorce
Understand And Feel Your Emotions
Divorce can evoke strong, negative feelings, especially if the circumstances surrounding it are unpleasant. Depending on when your parent’s divorce occurred, you may have harbored these feelings for quite some time. As a child dealing with divorce, there is the added obstacle of not understanding what exactly it is that you are feeling. Process your emotions, and give them a name. You’re likely angry, a normal face-value emotion. What else are you feeling? Is it sadness, loss, or hurt? Or if it has more recently occurred, you might not even understand what you are feeling.
Allow Yourself the Opportunity And Time To Grieve
Divorce is an ending. It’s a loss. Let it be what it is. Human nature encourages us to go into self-preservation mode and try to brush off hard feelings, compress them deep inside us. Excuses can be made for why you shouldn’t grieve, but that wouldn’t be helpful long term. Get comfortable with the uncomfortable. With grief stemming from parental divorce, you never know when those feelings will come up. As you have your own life events, it’s possible for there to be triggers relating to your parents. If the immediate time isn’t acceptable to grieve, make a placeholder for the next suitable time and prioritize it later.
Recognize The End Goal
When divorce happens, there is usually a reason. The full story is between them, and you likely don’t know all of it. What you do know is you’re feeling angry, upset, sad, or a combination of many feelings. At the end of the day, it is important to look at the bigger picture. After their divorce, they hopefully have found a happier stance on life. Try to find a point where, within your grief, you can forgive them and release any blame you may be harboring. The end goal is for everyone to be healthy. A new mindset and a clean slate are good ways to achieve that.
Connect With A Support System
Everyone needs somebody sometimes. Times of grief are definitely those times. You don’t want to isolate yourself because it will only create bigger problems. Lean on your family members or close friends who can comfort you in this hard time. You may find support from your parents, opening up a channel of communication to find comfort from the source itself. Whomever it is, let someone in to help you through.
Seek Treatment
Truth be told, your grief might not be fixed by venting to a friend or trying to self-regulate your emotions. Professionals are trained to guide you in different manners than you can do on your own. If your grief feels overwhelming and you don’t see the relief on the other side, we are here to help. Consult us to begin the healing process.