How To Stop Repeating Past Relationship Mistakes
Evaluate Your Past
The first place to start in the learning process is with your own patterns and behaviors. It is important to understand your role in past experiences. After all, it is the only thing you can actively control: yourself.
Remember, relationships are a two-way street. Accept responsibility for whatever role you played in a relationship not working out. Evaluating yourself will help you outgrow any types or patterns that aren’t suiting you well.
Don’t Be Afraid To Change
Routine and consistency are comfortable. People are often uncomfortable with change. In order to avoid repeating mistakes, you need to be willing to change yourself and your habits that may have led to negative experiences. Holding on to those experiences will not pave the way for successful new experiences.
If something didn’t work before, don’t be afraid to take a new approach. Don’t hesitate to step outside of your norm if it can lead to more positive and promising things in the future.
Know What You Want And Own It
Most people know what they don’t want in a relationship. But do you know what you do want from one? Think about this before entering into a new relationship. Manifest the things that you do want. By the same token, be sure to remain true to yourself. Don’t change yourself to fit a mold to win over a partner. Own your quirks, your nerdiness, your interests, and your desires. To have a successful relationship and keep it thriving, you want your partner to be your best friend. You shouldn’t hide those sides from them.
Keep Communication Open
Healthy relationships are built on good communication. More specifically, they are built on real, deep, substantial communication.
This skill can take some work to excel with, largely due to its uncomfortable nature. When conflict arises, or boundaries are crossed in a relationship, it’s easy to avoid and look the other way. But not having those important conversations can only lead to unhappiness, a toxic environment, or even an abusive relationship.
You know your wants and needs, your feelings and emotions. Expressing that with your partner in a productive way is an opportunity for growth. Be mindful of your tone and communication style when having these conversations. And don’t forget the active listening piece that goes into communication. Your partner deserves the same respect that you want to receive.
Avoid The Comparison Game
This goes two ways: comparing yourself to others and comparing yourself to your own timeline. You can look around and see relationships plastered everywhere; social media, television, friends, and family. It’s a natural habit to want to compare yourself to what you see others doing, especially when it is successful for them. No two people are the same, and no two relationships are the same. What works for someone else may not work for you. It is ok if what you are doing doesn’t match their status.
Most people also have a timeline of what their life milestones should be. Perhaps, by a certain age, you want to be married, or by this age, you want to have children. Placing strict constraints on a relationship isn’t going to promote success. Let it bloom naturally, and know things will work out when they are meant to.
If you find yourself struggling to break old habits, contact us for a consultation.