Divorce vs. Marriage Counseling: What’s the Difference?

Marriage Counseling

Couples come to marriage counseling when dealing with turmoil in their partnership but want to seek help. They still want the relationship to stay together. There is no problem too small (or too big) to address in marriage counseling.

Marriage counseling is often extremely effective in helping a relationship heal. An experienced therapist can help each of you identify the root of your issues together. Therapy offers a proven way to learn better communication skills and problem-solving.

No matter how complicated your relationship is, if you want to try to work it out, marriage counseling is the place to begin.

Discernment Counseling

Of course, you may be at a spot where you’re unsure if you want the relationship to continue. This situation is always tricky. Discernment counseling is called for in this situation.

Discernment counseling typically covers a shorter length of time than marriage counseling. Your therapist will meet with each of you individually to understand where you are in the marriage. You’ll also meet together.

The therapist’s goal is to help you determine how you got to this point in your marriage. They’ll also help you identify what role you’ve played in it. The goal is that, by the end of counseling, you’ll have decided if you’ll divorce or stay together. Sometimes couples don’t make a decision and instead give themselves more time.

It’s crucial to remember that discernment counseling is different than marriage counseling. The most effective discernment counselors have received additional training in this type of therapy. This process is different than traditional therapy, so be sure to ask your potential therapists what kind of training they’ve had in it.

Divorce Counseling

True divorce counseling occurs once you’ve decided it’s time to end your marriage. It can begin pre-divorce and continue post-divorce. Divorce is a significant disruption to life. Many people encounter great emotional upheaval as they go through it. There’s a lot of grief to work through, and sometimes this is best done with a professional at your side.

Beyond the grief process, of course, are a lot of other topics to tackle. Building your own identity apart from that of a married person can be overwhelming. You may feel unmoored and utterly bewildered as to how you’ll do this.

There’s also the importance of divorcing civilly and not let it turn you into a bitter, angry individual. Divorce counseling helps you build the emotional and interpersonal skills to make this happen.

Finally, children usually have the most to lose in a divorce. Divorce counseling can help you know how to make the process the least stressful for your kids.

Which Is Right for You?

After reading about these types of counseling, you may already have a good idea of which will be most effective for you. Of course, what type you end up going to also depends on how your spouse feels. If you want to save your marriage but your spouse doesn’t, they may not even want to try discernment counseling.

—

As a skilled marriage counselor who also has training in discernment counseling, I encourage you to reach out to my office if you’re ready to move forward or visit my Divorce vs. Marriage Counseling page to learn more.