5 Ways to Help Your Partner Feel Validated
1. Acknowledge Your Partner’s Feelings
In a relationship, you often become a joint entity. It’s important to remember that you are two separate individuals and need to make space for that uniqueness. There will be times when your views, values, and needs don’t perfectly align with your partner. When that happens, know that it’s okay.
Feelings can be tricky because they aren’t always based on true reality but rather a combination of fact, emotion, perception, and bias, to some degree. Even when you don’t fully agree with your partner, they need to know they are being heard and that their feelings matter to you.
No one wants to feel dismissed or less than, especially with your partner. Providing assurance will give them validation and comfort.
2. Be an Active Listener
The world gets busy, and life throws a lot your way, especially when you have demanding jobs or a family to care for. You and your partner might settle into a routine where you unintentionally hear each other but might not be fully listening.
An easy way to start making your partner feel more validated is to listen. Not only that but try to understand where they are coming from. Ask questions to further your understanding and show you’re paying attention. Gaining more appreciation for their side will open the door for continued conversations and strengthen your connection.
3. Use “I” Statements
Another easy way to validate your partner is to be mindful of your tone and word choice when having conversations. It’s easy to go on the verbal defensive, which can make your partner feel attacked.
A simple change in how you present your comment or side of the argument can make the biggest difference. Rather than saying, “You make me feel…” try saying, “I feel…” It presents the point from your viewpoint rather than assigning blame. Your partner will be much more willing to engage without feeling defensive.
4. Avoid Passing Judgment
There will be plenty of high and low points throughout the course of your relationship. You will also experience challenges and conflicts (remember that conflict can be healthy). It’s important to remember that you and your partner are on the same team.
Judging each other isn’t going to have positive results for your relationship. You’re going to have differing opinions and thought processes. Ensure your relationship is a safe space for both of you to express yourself honestly and vulnerably.
5. Check In With Each Other
Whether the relationship is in its beginning stages or you’ve been together for a long time, you need to make sure you’re doing routine check-ins with each other. The days can be easily consumed by work, adult responsibilities, family matters, extracurriculars, and so on. Make sure you’re devoting time to your partner to air out anything that is on their mind.
Set aside time to discuss how each other is feeling. Take a few moments to make sure your needs are being met. Talk about your current goals and motivations. It may sound funny, but these are things that can easily get lost in the fray.
What Next?
If you’re experiencing some waves with your partner, it could stem from something as simple as feeling invalidated. Sometimes, you need a little outside perspective to get things back on track. Enter in couples therapy. Reach out today to learn more about our services and how we can help.